Naming a blog

Naming a blog is nasty business. Especially when one is not quite certain of what one's overall point is. I really thought that "Beautiful Disaster" had a nice ring to it. But

1. That title was already taken.

2. I kept humming the chorus to that old 311 song... and it's not quotable or applicable to my life.

So- desperately Joyful it will be. Because I do feel desperate most of the time. And I am constantly chasing Joy. All the while feeling that it's just beyond my reach and that it must be easier for everyone else.

Keeping up with this is bound to be tricky. Because I do all my best writing on the treadmill. In my head. Where it's impossible to actually type or take notes. When I'm running in place, going nowhere fast, I come up with the most genius works of literature. But usually by the time I get off the treadmill, people are screaming at me and all the genius falls right out of my head and gets stomped by daily activity. (Ok, usually just one person is screaming. And he's two. So I guess that's allowed.)

Why a blog? Honestly, one of the last things the world needs is another blog. Yet another person posting random ramblings on the interweb: Blech. So... why be so self contradictory and do it anyway? The basic no-frills answer is because I am lonely. And I believe that a lot of other people are, too. And it really takes the edge off of loneliness when you realize that you are not alone in your loneliness. (Say that five times fast.) My life has become flooded with technology. Twitter, Facebook, email... I could drown. And I don't even buy into the time suck that is Pinterest. As my life has become more and more technological, my actual flesh and blood interaction with real people has diminished. Part of this is due to the advent of the wonder named Sam- who came into our lives like a flash bang grenade. Due to his many idiosyncrasies, we have become somewhat socially isolated. More on that another time. I find it interesting and sad that while I keep up with over 100 people on Facebook, I still lack interpersonal communication. I don't have the answer to this debacle. At this point, unplugging would effectively eliminate the thin ties to the outside world that we are currently maintaining. Would that really be so bad? I dunno. See, I really don't have all the answers.

To sum up: I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm not very good at keeping on topic, so good luck making sense of what I write.

I can promise you that I will never refer to you as, "beloved," because I am not an apostle or Jesus. This is not that kind of blog. I will not attempt to motivate or inspire you with cliche-y statements about "believing and achieving." I am who I am: born into sin, saved by grace, striving daily to remember it and live it. Seeking joy passionately when I can muster the energy. And when my energy is gone- I will try to find the pockets of joy that are hidden in the ugly places of life.

My hope is this: that the sharing of my struggles through my loneliness, my darkness, and my difficulties will somehow shine some light into someone else's loneliness, darkness and difficulties.

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
   Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV)